What Goes Around, Comes Around…Goes Back Around Again, Comes Back Around Again????

Okay, this is another one of my timeless rhetorical musings……

I’ve always wondered whether this is more than simply a catchy word of warning. Is it a divine retribution that cannot be escaped regardless of one’s spiritual beliefs? As my belief system resides in Christianity, I distinctly remember countless warnings while growing up of reaping what you sow…….Really simple and self-explanatory.

I can also vaguely recall it being said there being a divine retribution in a future existence for the unsavory acts that we engage in during this lifetime (can’t really remember what belief system this is for sure, I would guess it could loosely encompass quite a few).

If you wrong someone, is the wrong that comes back to you directly proportionate or disproportionate? Is it exactly alike or is it slightly similar in its intensity?

When does it (payback) honestly end? When exactly does the scale’s equilibrium tip back into balance?

Things that make you go……..hmmmmm

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Another Again….

What is the temptation that leads us into generally highly unproductive, familiar scenarios?

Okay, I just answered my own question. I keep talking (to myself) enough and that tends to happen….Its the familiarity of it.

Think about those two pairs of shoes or jeans you have in the closet. One new and barely used….the other tried & true, fits you to a tee. Which of the two do you seem to always gravitate towards?

And so it goes in some certain aspects of our lives with that tried & true fit or so you think…some times we’ve molded and conformed ourselves to fit the very things in our lives we ought to avoid.

I have never been an addictive type of personality. I consider it quite the feat of discipline to be able to “cold turkey” any behavior I set my mind to and that can stretch to years on end. In the event that I may one day decide I will pick it up for that day, I can and then its back to the “cold turkey”.

I have a fair amount of personal successes in this for as long as I can recall. One of my very first  memorable and undoubtedly longest lasting ones involves chicken. It was after a particularly bad experience with a piece of chicken ….I decided I wouldn’t eat it anymore, I guess I had to be 7-8 yrs old (also decided I didn’t like death/funerals at this time and in my lifetime have attended only 3 that I recall and those were in my late 20’s).

Of course this no-poultry kick (and various other food boycotts) was much to my mother’s dismay as she knew how to serve chicken countless ways. I would patiently (read:stubbornly) sit alone at the dining table for hours with my hands in my lap, very resolute.  I can outwait the best of them with very little stress or discomfort.

Additionally, with being the only girl, I was charged with cooking for the men (my father & brothers) and yep, chicken was on the menu many days….LOL. I fried, baked, fricasseed, etc. etc. ETC. During the holidays I got the raised eye about my chicken fear…however to my greedy brothers & male cousins that just  meant more for them.

This “cold turkey” lasted until I relented in my late teens and added chicken nuggets to my diet. In college, one of my work study jobs was in the campus grill. It was there I tried chicken salad topped with bacon bits (which I since nixed  once I began the no-pork quest) and BBQ’d shredded chicken. Still won’t eat a piece of traditionally Southern fried chicken if you hold a gun to my head but I will eat some boneless variety chicken from time to time but overall….still not a fan of chicken and can easily go years without it touching my lips despite cooking it quite often for my daughter.

Wow…that was quite the detour down Personal Business Blvd but it was the scenic route and it was in the same general neighborhood of where I was going with this thing.

Back to the main point…

Oh yea, there are really some….shall I say, quasi-VICES, I would rather not have the taste (mentally) for….I won’t bother listing but its along a broader spectrum than the obvious sexual connotations of this song which if you’ve been there you may, like myself, know all too well the intoxicating draw….

Symbolically to me, the lyrics show how our base human nature engages in the good v. evil battle, dealing with tempation when we know better via past experience. Expecting different results from the same actions is flawed logic at best.

I’ve always thought it empowering to know my weaknesses and to attempt to monitor, regulate and master or at the very least control of them…quite the feat in some cases, others not so much.

Amusingly, I’ll hum this melody at times to remind (maybe warn ?) myself of an impending another again….

~peace & blessings~

Back To Basics: a VPL update

Ok, so if you didn’t know….I challenged myself to adopt a more Virtually Purposeful Living (or VPL) as it applied to all/most things of virtual world which tend to serve as unnecessary albeit fun distractions. To read that initial VPL post click the short link: http://wp.me/pP3jm-7J.

Well, I long since have thought about it and now I am being a little more diligent in assessment as I am rolling up on the end of my cellular contract as the close of the month rushes towards me…the dilemma you wonder?

Downgrading on the bells & whistles service …. you know, the “all-inclusive, got to have it” cellular service we just can’t live without as we go about our daily existence. Yes, that kind of dilemma.

It’s so very easy to become a creature of convenience where we have to have the latest & greatest or the newest & the best….funny thing about human nature that takes hold if you let it.

I took some time to ponder this past weekend back to when I only had a pager and even to the time before I had a pager. Remember when you used to vilify someone trying to floss on a cell phone? Now it’s commonplace but is its use really any more a necessity now than it was then?

Sure, there’s the obvious benefit to being connected. As a single woman travelling through daily life, no one is more aware than I of that. But, as I overhear totally ridiculous (not to mention LOUD) conversations, I am overwhelmingly convinced that this can easily go the route of folly.

Early one morning on commute, I listened to a young lady “attempt” to have one such conversation. I say “attempt” because she really couldn’t understand nor give her undivided attention to the person on the phone. Not only did she repeatedly grunt “Huh?” at least every other minute. She frequently said “What did you say?” or “I didn’t hear you”.

And in between those, at various times of the conversation she ignored the person on the phone by speaking to people around her or respond to comments made to her.

Clearly these wouldn’t really be classified as wholly necessary interaction and these are examples of how we’ve become slaves to our cells.

Oprah’s launched the No Phone Zone initiative and many states over the past couple of years have cracked down on use of phones with stringent talking and texting guidelines. Nothing like vehicular homicide to really bring a point home, is it?

As I said before: “the present challenge I am embarking on is to practically embrace modern technologies for the value they can and do add to my life while I give even greater attention to eliminating their detraction from my life.” So to this end….perhaps a little downgrade is what is need to get more balanced and centered by eliminating the urge to goof off online while sitting in traffic, at dinner, during church service or in line at the grocery store?

I’m right now at the 50-50 point of making this a forced choice rather than just relying on avoiding the temptation. We will see in the very near future and of course, I will drop the update.

~Peace & Blessings~

Trust & Trustworthiness

I feel that these are two that tend to go hand-in-hand with one another. When someone is an upstanding or trustworthy person you can generally expect them to willingly extend trust to others because they possess a healthy does of a fearless expectation.

In my experience, distrustful people tend to cloak themselves in subversiveness and suspicion. I’ve come to find out that when someone isn’t a trustworthy person themselves, then they in turn tend to cast a wary eye on those who come across their paths or into their lives. They are always on the lookout for the “catch” and some even going so far as to believe you trust no one besides yourself.

There are also those who play tit-for-tat, never believing that they should be the one to trust first. they view trust as something they afford others in response to something they have received from that particular person. Once they have received the requisite amount of times (and for some this can be lengthy and over the course of years…) then you are bestowed with the holy grail of their trust. But is it even worth it after all that? Quite often not, these people are generally the worst because their rationale is flawed from the beginning.

Have you ever stopped to consider what kind of world this would be if a fair segment of the populous played by these rules? Not even taking the initiative to blindly trust on the smallest of scales? Something to think about indeed.

~Peace & Blessings~

Once Again, Circling The Wagons….

Over the years I have blogged about this before and it’s been something that’s been on my mind to talk about as I’ve done it in the past.

I’ve talked about widening my circle and developing new “friendships”, etc. (unlike a lot of folks who seem to have a lot of calamity in their lives and shut themselves off from the world in terms of allowing themselves to be touched or impacted with a lesson or two from an outside source).

But then again I have different definitions or levels of “friendships” so therefore I don’t limit myself to the rigid, stringent blood oath that a lot of folks consider “friendship” to be, you know like the “you-have-to-promise-to-care-for-your-first-born in the event of your demise” type of friendships.

I believe there are lessons to be learned not only about life but about oneself from the interactions with diverse personalities & people. If you limit yourself to the same set of people, within the same set of circumstances….where’s the growth in that? How many different reactions can you have to the same event?

Okay, well that’s a side topic in and of itself and it’s going on the ever-growing list of things for me to explore/expound & blog about at a later date.

Right now, in certain areas of my life it’s become necessary for me to “circle the wagons”.

If you are familiar with the western genre of movies or tales of early American settlers colonization/expansion then you will know the imagery of which I’m speaking. Simply put it was the act of encircling the covered wagons and fashioning it into a protective boundary of sorts. Sometimes this was done in direct relation to an attack but sometimes just as a precautionary measure like at night or during rest especially to protect the women & children if they were amongst the travelers.

Now in my thinking, I believe this is a precautionary measure for myself because I sense that when I am in certain modes of life….current one being (more than) a year-long intense undertaking of growth-awareness-action….. I need to be more aware than other times in my life of exactly who is around me and the energy they bring to me directly or indirectly.

I need to be sure that I’m protected when I’m, let’s say, occupied elsewhere mentally and there is a vulnerability in another area because my focus is narrowed.

So, I’m electing to tighten up a little and while it may seem closed off to some of the world outside the circle….I know that it will be a nice & flourishing environment on the inside and that will be evidenced once the circle is opened again.

~Peace & Blessings~

Conscious Discontentment

For a good portion of my life I’ve resided in a place of contentment, in that middle zone between happy and unhappy where you possess a calm ease of mind.

Overall, I suppose it is more to be regarded as an asset than a detriment that I can be centered in such a place when seemingly surrounded by adverse conditions.

I generally consider myself to be rational minded, pragmatic and realistic (which can seem pessimistic to the untrained thinker who doesn’t look from all angles).

I have always been this way as far back as I can recall in childhood which, as you can well imagine, doesn’t make me the life of the party in some respects.

However, into adulthood and for those who realize they can benefit from getting a straight opinion from this way of thinking it serves well because the outcome does not affect me one way or the other and hence doesn’t cloud opinion.

So, it has not been too terribly uncomfortable for me over the years to look at the good, better & best as well as bad, worse & worst when assessing my place in the grand scheme of things and to navigate so that I’m nearer to the middle with a recognizable chance of either extreme.

Within the last few years, I made the decision to move myself to a place of conscious discontentment in hopes of trying to move to higher state of peace & happiness.

This decision isn’t an attempt to really gain anything tangible; it’s driven more by attaining a deeper mental awareness and challenging my outlook for the better.

It’s requiring me to shift into a perspective of slight dissatisfaction and then look further ahead towards propelling my consciousness into the better zone on the continuum while still maintaining the former contentment or with that much more fulfilling sense of contentment.

I have noticed changes that may not really be evident to most because this is such an intensely internal undertaking. It really feels like the right thing to do at this time in my life and I’m encouraged by the little modifications that I see.

Ultimately, time will tell if the enhanced energy poured in outweighs the semi-passivity….

~Peace & Blessings~

Manifestation of Insecurities

 

I am fairly sure I am living & breathing more life to my own insecurity.

My problem is that on one hand I think it is an insecurity and on the other, I don’t think it is. I am teetering the line between the two but actively approaching it as an issue to overcome.

I suppose its one thing to have a mental acknowledgment of such but its a whole other level to give life to them and in some ways keep them nourished with healthy doses of neuroticism.

In reflecting, I’m not quite sure how or even when I exactly came to identify this but ever since I did bring it to my conscious attention, I have managed to harp upon it, poking and prodding it as time permits and seeing what has happened.

For the most part, it garners malicious intentions resulting in pity, sadness, fear and other emotions that are quite often leaving me in tears when I feed them (with negative-speak). Not sure if that end result is to my liking because it leaves me feeling unresolved and not with a viable solution to combating.

So now, it becomes necessary that I must develop a plan…..cause I am all about the solutions.

Stay tuned for more developing details….

~Peace & Blessings~