Archive for learning-to-say-yes

Learning to say “YES”

Posted in Life Lessons with tags , on February 23, 2010 by Angela

I am still struggling with the implications of saying YES sometimes.

Weird one, huh?

I know more often than not it’s that people struggle with saying NO to themselves, family, friends & others. I have no problem firing off a NO lickety-split. I’m generally firm & resolute as it applies to decision making on things I don’t feel are in my best interest. I’m typically not one to be easily taken advantage of or to be in a position of needing validation/approval which leads many to be unable to say NO.

My unique struggle lies in me seeing saying YES as a sign of weakness, incompetence, neediness & a whole other host of negative adjectives which produce a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach.

There are deep-rooted implications for which I’ve attempted to deal with at various points of my life as time has progressed. Some times are easier than others but very often they still fill me with dread and an overall uncomfortable feeling.

Recently was one of those days I calmed down the butterflies, swallowed past the lump and said YES, YES I WOULD & THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I am not going to lie, it was hard & it was a huge, huge step for me. But I didn’t well up with tears & have heart palpitations in borderline panic attack mode. Crazy as it seems, that is the physical manifestation and that’s another thing that has kept me from saying YES. I don’t relish feeling flushed, faint or woozy.

I took a deep breath, stilled my nerves and survived it….in retrospect I did think I may have talked a bit much (which was mainly to drown out the negative thoughts that would normally be racing through my mind) but it was relative & engaging so I suppose that’s fine.

This is the year that I’m challenging myself and pushing past the boundaries of my comfort zone which have served to cocoon & many ways imprison me in my cozy little, frosted glass world. It’s a nice, peaceful world and it’s inviting so I shouldn’t be at all surprised others are clamoring to get in & experience the vibe. There is a light in me that draws people towards me and I am trying to become open to allowing that to just be, plain & simply.

~Peace & Blessings~