Archive for Human nature

Another Again….

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Flashback, Life Lessons, Memories, Randomosity, True Confessions with tags , , , , on September 29, 2010 by Angela

What is the temptation that leads us into generally highly unproductive, familiar scenarios?

Okay, I just answered my own question. I keep talking (to myself) enough and that tends to happen….Its the familiarity of it.

Think about those two pairs of shoes or jeans you have in the closet. One new and barely used….the other tried & true, fits you to a tee. Which of the two do you seem to always gravitate towards?

And so it goes in some certain aspects of our lives with that tried & true fit or so you think…some times we’ve molded and conformed ourselves to fit the very things in our lives we ought to avoid.

I have never been an addictive type of personality. I consider it quite the feat of discipline to be able to “cold turkey” any behavior I set my mind to and that can stretch to years on end. In the event that I may one day decide I will pick it up for that day, I can and then its back to the “cold turkey”.

I have a fair amount of personal successes in this for as long as I can recall. One of my very first  memorable and undoubtedly longest lasting ones involves chicken. It was after a particularly bad experience with a piece of chicken ….I decided I wouldn’t eat it anymore, I guess I had to be 7-8 yrs old (also decided I didn’t like death/funerals at this time and in my lifetime have attended only 3 that I recall and those were in my late 20’s).

Of course this no-poultry kick (and various other food boycotts) was much to my mother’s dismay as she knew how to serve chicken countless ways. I would patiently (read:stubbornly) sit alone at the dining table for hours with my hands in my lap, very resolute.  I can outwait the best of them with very little stress or discomfort.

Additionally, with being the only girl, I was charged with cooking for the men (my father & brothers) and yep, chicken was on the menu many days….LOL. I fried, baked, fricasseed, etc. etc. ETC. During the holidays I got the raised eye about my chicken fear…however to my greedy brothers & male cousins that just  meant more for them.

This “cold turkey” lasted until I relented in my late teens and added chicken nuggets to my diet. In college, one of my work study jobs was in the campus grill. It was there I tried chicken salad topped with bacon bits (which I since nixed  once I began the no-pork quest) and BBQ’d shredded chicken. Still won’t eat a piece of traditionally Southern fried chicken if you hold a gun to my head but I will eat some boneless variety chicken from time to time but overall….still not a fan of chicken and can easily go years without it touching my lips despite cooking it quite often for my daughter.

Wow…that was quite the detour down Personal Business Blvd but it was the scenic route and it was in the same general neighborhood of where I was going with this thing.

Back to the main point…

Oh yea, there are really some….shall I say, quasi-VICES, I would rather not have the taste (mentally) for….I won’t bother listing but its along a broader spectrum than the obvious sexual connotations of this song which if you’ve been there you may, like myself, know all too well the intoxicating draw….

Symbolically to me, the lyrics show how our base human nature engages in the good v. evil battle, dealing with tempation when we know better via past experience. Expecting different results from the same actions is flawed logic at best.

I’ve always thought it empowering to know my weaknesses and to attempt to monitor, regulate and master or at the very least control of them…quite the feat in some cases, others not so much.

Amusingly, I’ll hum this melody at times to remind (maybe warn ?) myself of an impending another again….

~peace & blessings~



Posted in A Lil About Me, Gratitude, Life Lessons, Motivations, Randomosity, Relationships, Self Improvement with tags , , , , on September 26, 2010 by Angela

Wordle: forgiveforget

Another part of our human nature. . .is to cut ourselves slack when it comes to our shortfalls but not others.

We can admit our own mistakes, forgive ourselves, forget about it and move on from it (at least, a good number of people can) but when it comes to giving that same leeway to others who’ve wronged us. . .we aren’t as accommodating.

I don’t think that has to happen because you are a GOD, it has to happen because you allow it to happen.

And I am not talking about forgetting as in the sense of wiping it completely from your memory. . .like a magical memory brain dump.

I believe you need to FORGET in the sense that it will not be a trump card for you in an argument or you will not use it to justify your own deficient behavior in the future.

Basically in no way can the mention of this transgression or incidence be wielded as a weapon. I do feel it can be a source of reference or talking point in a calm, mild-mannered discussion.

I’ve had many discussions over the years and been saying this all along with the exception that it gets stronger and more explanation as time passes. . .if you’re not willing or able to FORGET then you’re not truly FORGIVING.

The whole process of forgiveness is a deep one, it’s multi-faceted in that you don’t just say I forgive you or that’s okay when it really isn’t.

It requires honest communication on your part as you make your true feelings known.

You have to explore your feelings and then express the extent of what’s been done to you. You acknowledge and admit to the hurt, betrayal, pain, loss of trust etc. And then you attempt to work beyond it.

You begin the process of re-building and re-establishing the breach in the bond.

In my opinion, too many people say they forgive w/o forgetting and it’s the NOT FORGETTING that ends up eating away at their sanity more than the act itself which was over and done with. Mind you its an act that they falsely claimed to have forgiven.

People just need to be honest and say “No, I cannot forgive you at this time” or “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you but I can try” because that’s basically what happens when you take the route of not forgetting.

As it pertains to level or depth of relationships I said before. . .in a relationship, I’m not certain that total forgiveness would be in order but within a marriage I would strive to be totally forgiving and not harbor resentment or condemnation towards my mate.

I subscribe to more of a biblical perspective when I seek the behaviors I should model myself after. I think about the overwhelming grace and forgiveness God bestows upon us when we humbly admit our shortcomings.

With that type of dynamic example who could not at least make a more supreme effort?

~peace & blessings~