Archive for about me

Dating In A Holding Pattern….

Posted in A Lil About Me with tags , , , on September 28, 2011 by Angela

photo credit: SYNDYNE

This phrase definitely describes my “dating life” for a quite a bit….I have gone on a few dates and I am really resisting posting about them because they have been kinda comical.. I will allow time to past and then talk about them but I am still accepting and attempting (albeit halfheartedly at times)…but the above picture sums up what the terrain has been looking like which is why I am circling above….I’ve got plenty of reserve fuel and can wait until the skies are like this before I am cleared to land….

Last One Left On the Playground

Posted in A Lil About Me, Memories, Randomosity, True Confessions with tags , , , , , on July 5, 2011 by Angela


I often feel like I’m the last one left on the playground.

You know, like how it is during recess or whenever when you line up along the fence and pick teams?

Kinda like that.

There’s a heirarchy in the way we are are picked in life. Little did we know it would closely resemble how it was on the playyard.

Undoubtedly, the all-stars get picked first. Next come the almost all-stars. These are then followed by the friends of the all-stars. Who are just a level above the ones who are mediocre enough to be classified as neither ‘that good’ or ‘that bad’.

As the pickings keep getting slimmer, someone wonders aloud if they really have to pick any more or can they stick with what they’ve got?

The rules of fairness are you pick until there’s no one left or an odd one out.

That’s me.

Somehow or another.

I am forever feeling like odd one out.

The funny thing is you’d think I’d quit showing up to the playground. Surely you’d think I could catch the hint and quit lining up, wouldn’t you?

Yet there’s an underlying determination that drives me to keep at it, time and time again.

There’s something in me that says maybe, one day.

Maybe tomorrow or the next day.

Or the one after that.

Perhaps I won’t be the last one left on the playground.

No (Wo)Man Is An Island…Yet Mine Is So Incredibly Tranquil

Posted in A Lil About Me, True Confessions with tags , , , on June 29, 2011 by Angela

“All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated…As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness….No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

~~Devotions upon emergent occasions – Meditation XVII, 1624 John Donne (1572-1631)

I am certain many have heard the above quotation is some form of paraphrase, if not in its entirety or formal context.

In essence what the select snippet “No man is an island, entire of itself…” refers to is the intrinsic dependence and need for humans to interact with other humans whether that interaction is good, bad or indifferent. There is really no getting around it.

If you doubt that just think for a moment about the contrary: solitary confinement.

To a reasonably sound-minded and healthy individual this type of forced isolation is/can be considered extreme punishment because it greatly deprives them of interaction by diminishing contact to virtually non-existent levels. Quite often it produces the desired negative effect and then some.

While I totally understand this, I am one such person who values the solitude which being on my island has afforded me. Primarily in part because I’ve consciously made it such a place of paradise that when it’s contrasted with the alternative of mainland…there’s hands down no comparing the two.

One of my personality/character traits is having a quiet, soft-spoken demeanor. From my earliest memories I’ve never really felt the need to draw attention or interaction to myself.

Interestingly enough, it’s one of the very things that seem to either draw people towards me if it doesn’t at first make them uneasy. Really I came to see over time it only makes attention-seekers uneasy because how I am in many cases seems to intensify the contrast that much more which in turn just highlights it more.

I’ve always created a very pleasant, tranquil personal space. The ambiance is unparalleled because I see it as a place of rest, relaxation and rejuvenation.

I am the only female child of my siblings so I really didn’t interact with females in a living situation until I went away to college. I went through a few roommates who uncomfortable with my quietness thought I didn’t like them and no amount of reassurance can assure the insecure.

This isn’t reserved to women though; there are men who also don’t comprehend the benefits of a relaxed soul. I just don’t understand how if I say I am just quiet you get I’m mad or don’t like you? My answer to that is you don’t have to be around me to figure it out, so be gone. No harm, no foul, my feelings are unhurt and my conscience remains clear.

In raising my daughter, I exposed her to the beauty of a home of solitude. In many ways she’s benefitted from the chaos-free environment but being her own person she ultimately has to create her own island and that’s okay. She’s just been shown a different way.

Over the years, I have had visitors to my island with different and mixed responses. But there is an overwhelming acknowledgment of the sense of calmness that I keep within my space. Too much introduction of the wrong energy can upset the balance.

Therefore, I opt to make more frequent trips off my island than I seek to invite visitors to my island.

Despite being quiet in my demeanor, I do manage to get my fill of human interaction quite easily. Along with the genuine and natural drawing to myself that I’ve become accustomed to I am routinely subjected to unwarranted interaction. There still exists the need for people to seek to change and better my interaction experience to their liking rather than mine.

Thresholds reached I whisk myself back to paradise’s shores.

Honestly though, I’m not so much concerned with leaving MY island as much as I desire to add to it a permanent, fulltime resident. one who is content to be holed up with the likes of me.

Hmmm, if only…..

~peace & blessings~

Memorial Weekend Recap

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Entertainment, Memories, Randomosity, Weekend Recap, Wine Tasting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2011 by Angela

This past weekend ushered in the unofficial start of summer: barbeques, amusement parks, swimming pools, parades and the streets and sidewalks coming alive after a cold winter and plentiful spring showers.

The weather here was incredible! It was unseasonably hot and humid but that’s what Midwest living gets you….wouldn’t change it for anything. Hopefully it was a safe and enjoyable one with decent weather where you were.

My sole mission was to have a fun-filled 3 day weekend and can happily report that I enjoyed every minute of it.

FRIDAY

My typical Friday night routine is pretty much set in stone regardless of the season. After the gym, I went to a wine tasting.

 

French wines are usually made to accompany food.

Image via Wikipedia

 

I actually got into attending wine tasting events a few years back when I was going to Europe and wanted to become better acquainted with French burgundy, bordeaux, cabernet and syrah. I am by no means an expert but I am intrigued on the pairings and with learning and growing/expanding my comfort zone. I enjoying imagining all the things I will one day prepare and what will go best with each dish, course or meal.

What I like about all the events that I’ve attended is that they are really well-prepared and they all have themes by region, holiday, ethnicity, main course, etc. The theme for the partical event I attended was appropriately enough “Grillin’ Out” and featured some really good wines and dishes to cook/serve outdoors.

I hope to post more in a separate post about the wine tasting over on the food related pages (which I have also been neglecting but have oodles & oddles to share). I haven’t given up on that and have a flurry of notes of things I’d plan to share sooner than later.

After leaving the wine tasting, I scooted over to one of my favorite Starbucks, had some java and linked up to the Starbucks Digital Network.

It is via SDN that I became acquainted with the documentaries on Snag Films. Yea, I know…fun times on a Friday night: sipping coffee while watching thought-provoking documentaries. I’ve said it before and staunchly REPEAT we can’t all be grown & sexy party animals…some of us have to mind the store and post bail for the rest.

SATURDAY

I met up with my knitting circle and spent a great portion of my morning and early afternoon knitting, UNknitting and then correctly REknitting. I am apparently a natural and took right to knitting so it’s a fun new pasttime I enjoy. Especially since I sew and overall am an art & crafts type, I have the patience and the mind’s eye that let’s me see beyond the needles and the yarn into an actual project.

I had intended to try to go to a gourmet cooking demonstration but my doggedness in getting my piecework just so before setting it aside didn’t afford me that opportunity. Therefore, I just copped the recipe (because all I really wanted to do was taste the dish so that I’d have a point of reference other than my own taste buds) and I juggled my schedule of events.

I attended Saturday afternoon church service and heard a really good message about extending grace and forgiveness to others. I could echo a lot of the sentiments and find it very interesting because I had just been “counseling” someone on the beauty of forgiveness and how it brings so much peace to your life.

As a matter of fact, I seem to be a broken record about that very topic and have had to rewind that record several times over the course of the year and in the very recent past. I had no idea how many people harbor hidden resentments and it is really astounding to hear how long some people have carried malice in their hearts.

I feel extremely blessed to have gotten to the point of forgiveness and allowing it to be a force in my life.

After leaving church I headed downtown to continue my “Foodie Weekend” at The Taste of Cincinnati and allowed (planned) to indulge myself with caloric intake being a non-issue. As always it was very crowded but I knew before going that there weren’t going to be as many vendors as in years past which was slightly disappointing and virtually no vegetarian or vegan options to try but I had a good time nonetheless and planned to hit it up once more before the weekend was over.

SUNDAY

I started my Sunday off with another routine–fitness class at the gym. Decided against going back to The Taste and instead spent the day running errands and taking advantage of the less crowded stores. I cheated on my Foodie Weekend plans and had soup and salad for dinner. I can only consume so much junk before my body threatens to revolt. Had a nice restful night’s sleep in preparation for the last day of events.

MONDAY

I am not a big movie goer and believe it was actually last summer since I darkened the threshold of a theater. So as it seems to happen on holidays, I thought to myself: Today would be a good day to see a movie, low crowds and no talking and I just woke up so I won’t be ready for a nap anytime soon. So with those thoughts in mind, off I went with no thought as to what to see or what even was showing.

I took to my favorite social media outlets asking for recommendations and wound up going to see Bridesmaids. I found it very entertaining and even caught some previews of movies that I will try to attempt to go see. I am usually so bad because I forget something is coming out because it’s not my thing to even check the movie reviews. But there are a few non-sequel movies that I wouldn’t mind seeing.

Since I decided to go to the movies, I bypassed lunch and swung back through The Taste to grab a couple items that I didn’t get on Saturday. Honestly, I usually have a limit on what I can consume comfortably which is why I have to plan accordingly or attend more than one day.

Early afternoon found myself in the gym test driving a kickboxing class and I loved it! I used to go at a previous gym and it’s an amazing core workout. Although it’s offered a little late for my liking, I definitely think I will get in the Monday evening class once my other Monday night commitment ends. Then I will have to see about taking a nap to hit a 7:00 p.m. class on Thursdays as well. I thought taking classes after 5:30 pm was crazy because that’s usually when I’m ready to head out the door FROM working out. But it’s worth making the adjustments to the schedule for sure so I will try to see what I can configure in my day to make it a reality.

Spent the early evening get things ready for the upcoming shortened workweek and still managed not to get to bed any sooner than normal. Once again…typical night before returning to work!

I am really looking forward to doing a lot more now that the summer concert series are starting up and all the outdoor events are taking place. Or just simply to do what I did last weekend and have picnics both Saturday and Sunday. There’s nothing like have some time in the sun!

~Peace & Blessings~

A Square Peg Amidst Round Holes….

Posted in A Lil About Me, Life Lessons, Motivations with tags , , , on May 19, 2011 by Angela

It seems inevitable at some point in life we are confronted with the proverbial situation of encountering a square peg when we have round holes. It presents quite the conundrum but even more so challenging when WE are the square pegs having to fit into the round holes.

For many there is a forced assimilation which while it achieves the desired group fit, something isn’t quite right…

…there is a tendency to alter the original state and quite often it leaves the original square peg…still square in some respects, just a bit splintered….

…still in other instances, pieces of the original square peg are removed so it is no longer its original square state yet neither is it truly round, it’s an odd amalgamation which attracts more curiosity due to it’s manipulation…

…however, there always exists the instance wherein the square is stronger than the hole into which it’s being forced and demands that the hole accommodate the square peg in its unique, individual WHOLENESS

I will leave it up to you to guess which of these is applicable to me, more often than not…

~peace & blessings~

April’s Full: Day Four

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Goals, Motivations, Randomosity with tags , , , , , on April 4, 2011 by Angela

 


Very light writing this evening…so hard to do without being up all night during the week….I mainly did a little light outlining into the body of work before I forget what it is I was thinking about all day during work when I wish I could have been writing….actual dialogue and particulars to come as I flesh it out.

~Peace & Blessings~

April’s Full: Day Three

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Goals, Motivations, Randomosity with tags , , , , , on April 3, 2011 by Angela

graphic courtesy of: COGNITIVE DISTORTION


Short and sweet update….


Made the daily page goal of writing but still not where I need to be to date due to daydreaming, formatting, people-watching and other non-sense such as that…

One poem written this weekend…

Feeling even more confident I will meet these challenges….

~Peace & Blessings~