Archive for the Life Lessons Category

…and thus November cometh….

Posted in A Lil About Me, Affirmations, Blessings, Life Lessons, Self Improvement with tags , , , , on November 1, 2012 by Angela

It certainly seems to me that 2012 has flown by at warp speed. It has been a year of incredible growth, changes and numerous blessings. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any more intense, it has…. I’m currently preparing myself to start the new year with an awesome mission trip abroad to South Africa!

As is my custom during the fall months, I spend several weeks reflecting upon the past year’s successes, challenges and lessons learned all in an attempted to revise, renew or set goals & disciplines to aim for in the upcoming year.

Going to South Africa is starting off the year in a really big way!

I’m excited to see the direction God is leading me while at the same time a tad bit pensive. Above all else I am determined to respond obediently to the call he is placing upon my heart with increasing faith and openness.

Spiritually I’ve endeavored to grow for nearly 18 years and its been amazingly. rewarding….that journey continues along with a host of health & wellness that have given way to major lifestyle changes.

Determined to finish 2012 stronger than I began….and happy to report that I’m “winning”!!

~peace & blessings~


A Square Peg Amidst Round Holes….

Posted in A Lil About Me, Life Lessons, Motivations with tags , , , on May 19, 2011 by Angela

It seems inevitable at some point in life we are confronted with the proverbial situation of encountering a square peg when we have round holes. It presents quite the conundrum but even more so challenging when WE are the square pegs having to fit into the round holes.

For many there is a forced assimilation which while it achieves the desired group fit, something isn’t quite right…

…there is a tendency to alter the original state and quite often it leaves the original square peg…still square in some respects, just a bit splintered….

…still in other instances, pieces of the original square peg are removed so it is no longer its original square state yet neither is it truly round, it’s an odd amalgamation which attracts more curiosity due to it’s manipulation…

…however, there always exists the instance wherein the square is stronger than the hole into which it’s being forced and demands that the hole accommodate the square peg in its unique, individual WHOLENESS

I will leave it up to you to guess which of these is applicable to me, more often than not…

~peace & blessings~

As your friend I’m not here to feed your insecurities…

Posted in Life Lessons on January 28, 2011 by Angela

Photo credit: Vanitas art companion pieces INSECURITY (above) & SECURITY (below)

{artist interpretation: door secured by multiple padlocks, a horseshoe hanging for “good luck”…meanwhile the key hangs in plain view obviously overlooked in the quest to secure}

{my interpretation: insecurity can manifest itself in overkill and extreme tendencies which seek to call attention to one’s self favorably, ostensibly to mask their insecurities but the absurdity of that notion is that it magnifies and casts insecurities more clearly into plain view}

For me, relationships basically boil down to one of two things: growth or stagnancy. Growth=LIFE, stagnancy=DEATH.

Recently, I’ve had some deeper thoughts and ponderings on the mature expectations of friendship. Some of these are thoughts to challenge my beliefs and to help me to become a better person and friend. Other thoughts have been to seek friendship/continue to surround myself with authentic people who challenge me to grow.

Sure, we all want people to accept us for whom and what we are but then what?

Do we want people who stand by and let us spiral and fester into our neurosis while we just rely upon our own judgment to know or perceive that we are okay?

Is friendship really all about just pacifying us in our state of dysfunction and hyping up our flawed self-esteem because we don’t want to step on toes or hurt feelings?

Do we see a person drowning and throw a bucket of water on them or do we offer a life preserver?

Do we deny obvious truths that someone is clearly overcompensating and not doing a very good job at that?

I admittedly hold myself to some fairly stringent standards and one of those is in the vein of friendship to not look the other way or grin in someone’s face while silently watching them struggle.

And even further than that, to be asked my opinion and under the guise of not wanting to hurt feelings, tell someone what they want to hear….that makes two delusional parties.

Truth hurts. There is no doubt about that.

Seeking truth is like anesthesia that buffers against an otherwise painful incision.

What kind of friendships are you surrounding yourself with these days?

~Peace & Blessings~

{artist interpretation: door secured by a single lock and horse shoe for luck}

{my interpretation: padlock is sufficient, I don’t believe in luck…but that’s another story altogether…)

What Goes Around, Comes Around…Goes Back Around Again, Comes Back Around Again????

Posted in Life Lessons, Questions, Randomosity with tags , , , on December 9, 2010 by Angela

Okay, this is another one of my timeless rhetorical musings……

I’ve always wondered whether this is more than simply a catchy word of warning. Is it a divine retribution that cannot be escaped regardless of one’s spiritual beliefs? As my belief system resides in Christianity, I distinctly remember countless warnings while growing up of reaping what you sow…….Really simple and self-explanatory.

I can also vaguely recall it being said there being a divine retribution in a future existence for the unsavory acts that we engage in during this lifetime (can’t really remember what belief system this is for sure, I would guess it could loosely encompass quite a few).

If you wrong someone, is the wrong that comes back to you directly proportionate or disproportionate? Is it exactly alike or is it slightly similar in its intensity?

When does it (payback) honestly end? When exactly does the scale’s equilibrium tip back into balance?

Things that make you go……..hmmmmm

What Are You Putting “Out There”?

Posted in A Lil About Me, Life Lessons, Randomosity, True Confessions with tags , on December 7, 2010 by Angela

I admit to (at select times) being concerned with what people think of me. Not that it paralyzes me with fear or causes me any deep emotional scarring but it does make me ponder every once in a while so I get introspective and try to see things from an alternative vantage point.

All too often we get complacent and think we are in the zone of perfection and that it’s everyone else who needs a dose of self-improvement. I like to consider myself a work-in-progress and as such, I know that there are times when I’ve consciously or unconsciously turned a blind eye to some personality defect and deemed it a mild quirk, thinking it’s just cute or just me being me. So, I will solicit information about myself in conversation and indulge someone when I feel they are giving me an honest opinion and not just trying to diss me on the sly.

I wonder if people think I carry myself in a ladylike fashion. I wonder if people think I’m polite & well-mannered. I wonder if people think I have some measure of intelligence about me. I wonder if people think that I’m honorable and a person of my word. I wonder if people think I’m hypocritical or out of balance when it comes to my beliefs vs. my deeds. I wonder if people think I’m a holier than thou. I could go on and on but I have to cut the list off somewhere. LOL.

Recently, I’ve been compiling a bunch of information and applying it to see if it’s me or if it’s just based on what I call the “reality of perception”. This is what I term someone’s beliefs and/or opinions that may or may not be true but which are indeed their reality as far as they are concerned. It then becomes a matter of if people are willing to change or expand upon those limited thoughts as they relate to me.

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t but I think the overall experience of “checking out” my view from all angles of the mirror helps me in the long run to be the best I can expect to be.

And another thing worth mentioning is that I’ve noticed when one sets about bettering themselves…and not even on a materialistic level like upgrade the ride or surround yourself with various trappings like that….as in trying to physically, mentally,, spiritually or emotionally changing and bettering yourself. I’ve seen folks respond negatively to folks bringing out the good in themselves because it creates a barometer betwixt the two which they may not like seeing the reading.

I’ve been called or considered many things but the one thing I try to portray or maintain is integrity & honesty in matters of importance. If you’re not a person who can be taken at their word then you have nothing in my opinion, all the rest is just fluff.

So here’s the question that this leads me to inquire to folks: Do you pay attention to the vibe you put out there about yourself and take care to make sure it’s an accurate reflection or do you truly not care one way or the other? Is what you put out there reality or a distorted self-perception?

~Peace & Blessings~

What Are Your Sources of Strength

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Gratitude, Life Lessons, Memories, Motivations, Self Improvement on October 1, 2010 by Angela

Have you ever stopped to consider the sources which give you strength?

Yesterday morning I was feeling a little sad and really wanted to cry. I came really close but I blinked about a million times and just kept breathing through until the urge passed.

I was travelling up a hill as this happened and as I reached the top, turn the corner and began to desend, I was blinking a little less and breathing more evenly (….and I didn’t have to touch up my eye makup).

I’ve always had a basic realization that I have limited sources of strength that reside outside of me for resolution. I’m not easily comforted by individuals with the exception of a selection few whom I choose to reveal myself so therefore, it’s a burden at times if left unchecked.

In super-sharp contrast is that I am the rock of reason for others. I provide a shoulder to lean upon and an ear to listen. And I may not always tell you what you want to hear but it’s going to be steeped in reality & truth.

I recently had a young lady tell me that she could always count on me to be truthful in my assessment and never to just want to tell her what she wants to be told or to hear. I think a lot of people make the mistake of co-sign or having a weak response when asked a tough question or opinion. I see it so much and even ask folks why they may say one thing to someone’s face and a total other behind their back. Why give two opposite sets of opinions when it’s only one that is needed?

Even in relationships, I feel that I am attractive to many because of what I bring to them as far as my strength. I have held many confidences and been privy to more matters than I really would have asked about freely.

I don’t know if this makes me stronger or not. There are times that I feel used & drained and I silently wish that others would reciprocate freely and without me having to demand in return. But it doesn’t seem as genuine.

I am always humbled though by a “Color Purple moment” in which someone appears out of nowhere, provides that uplift to my spirit and disappears just as quickly with nothing asked in return.

Though those moments are often unforeseen, they provide me an incredible sense of peace that I must be doing something right and that all that I’m putting out there isn’t for naught.

Everything has a reason & purpose.

~peace & blessings~

Glass Half Full or Glass Half Empty?

Posted in A Lil About Me, Daily Living, Life Lessons, Memories, Motivations with tags on September 30, 2010 by Angela

I have always considered myself as a person to view the glass as being half full but it seems that despite having this positive outlook….it feels as if my glass is under assault.

I cannot tell you how topsy-turvy things have been as of late.

It would be one thing if I simply had the perspective of the glass being half empty but it’s a whole different matter when you feel that your glass is being unnecessarily drained.

It’s a whole different matter when you feel your glass is just chilling & minding it’s own business and someone does a ‘drive-by’ on it.

I feel that I am in need of revisiting the HOW FULL IS YOUR BUCKET? philosophy.

I need to regulate and get on track for 2011 because there is no way I am going to continue to feel as if I’m walking around half empty…in any aspect of my life.

~Peace & Blessings~